5 months ago
Yes, yes. I will give them back. I'm a good boy!
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.. You have my word!
I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs.
Hi 'a good boy', I'm dad.
I was waiting for this.
Hi 'was waiting for this', I'm dad.
Once I start, I can not stop the dad jokes.
There were two muffins in an oven. One of them said "Hi!"
The other said "Ah! A talking muffin!"
What do you call a store that doesn't like to wear clothes?
A strip mall.
my friend told that first joke in front of my whole school. it was so cringy.
My therapist told me that I should visit Korea. I guess she thinks I need to do some Seoul searching.
So a guy walks into the Bar...
I assume it hurt
or similarly: two guys walked into a bar, i would have thought the second guy saw the first
Did you know French fries aren't cooked in France? They're cooked in Greece.
I'm half french and half greek...I'm a freak!
Dad jokes are known to the state of California to cause cancer and birth defects
"proposition 65 intensifies"
as does about everything that is not a vegetable in California.
Vegetables may contain Cadmium and are known to the state of California to cause cancer and birth defects.
Well yeah, all they it is 100% organic, gluten free, dairy free, soy free, kale that has been processed through 100 tests for bacteria, disease, etc.
I can't really "throw" you a joke, can I?
That was two.
crumples "your best dad jokes!" into a ball
throws it across the room
A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender replies "$1". The customer completely amazed, orders a beer. Its the best he's ever tasted. He then asks the bartender "Well then how much for a bottle of wine?" The Bartender reply's "50 cents". The guy still amazed then orders it and it's the best he's ever tasted. He says "Wow, this place is amazing, I really wish I could meet the owner of this place". The bartender then says "Oh well, he's upstairs in his office with my wife". The guy looks all confused then asks "What is he doing upstairs in his office with your wife?" The bartender then says "The same thing I'm doing to his business
This is both funny and wrong at the same time...
Imagine coming back from the cigar store in reasonable time
I'm still waiting my mine to come home from getting a pack of cigarettes 15 years ago.
Mine went out for milk 15 years ago as well. He came back about 30 minutes later and has been my father ever since.
not gonna lie, they had us in the first half
You've really got me torn with this one. Did your dad go get you milk 15 years ago and continue to be your dad ever since or did some random guy bring you milk 15 years ago and you promoted him to the rank of dad, where he has served ever since?
Oh my gosh
I thought the exact same thing